It was 12 in the afternoon when I decided to leave La Salle to Bonifacio High Street for the fittings of Style Origin for the fashion show this coming Saturday. The sun was hidden behind the clouds; I allowed the pollution of Taft Avenue to penetrate my system. I was hopeless, on that instance. I barely could breathe, and that I could only move little by little.

   I thought about some TV shows that I used to watch — Gossip Girl, America’s Next Top Model, That’s So Raven, Hey Arnold!, Catdog, Invader Zim (one of my favourites, to be honest), Glee, Popeye, The Sailor Man, The Jetsons, The Flintstones, The Adams Family. I tried to think about happy thoughts; I was in deep euphoria. Yes, euphoria while experiencing the Manila heat.

   I tried to message John Paul. But I was too lazy to get my phone out from my shoulder bag. My bag, today, was heavier than usual, since I came from Cainta, and all of my things were there, inside my bag. I would like to tell him that I was not late for my class today, despite leaving home later than expected. But what does it mean to him, right? Saying that to him would be just pointless at all.

   I placed the earphones on and played some random music from Pots, my iPod Touch. I was in deep shock — all of my playlist was so disorganised, and I hated it. When one music goes pop, the next one goes rock and/or indie, and I did not really like that at all. Thus it resembles how I have been doing in my life right now. I feel so disorganised, and that I feel so carefree right now.

   I was holding my planner that time, too, and guess what I have found out? I found nothing. My planner, for the past 2 weeks, was empty. As compared to the previous weeks and months, these 2 recent weeks have nothing written on it. That was something new from me, I must say. My planner, as how I have been doing it, is something close to being a scrap book; that I put tons of photos, novelty items, random things to make me refresh my memories and all. It was a resemblance of my being, and I guess these recent weeks have been a mere ‘nothing.’

   Guess what? I thought and did all that within the span of 10 minutes. The time slowed down. I felt like the time went for my side and made me realise few things about how I live my life right now. I guess I deserve all of these things because I chose to be someone like this. Now I know that in life there is no such thing as having ‘no choice’ at all because we always do have a choice. After a while, a cab stopped in front of me. I told the driver, “Manong, Bonifacio High Street po.” He nodded and I immediately went inside the cab and let those things eat my whole afternoon while thinking.

   PS. I never liked the rain at all, and I will never ever like it, especially if my shoes (even just the outside part) get wet and dirty. Hello, talk about being so ‘protective’ over my shoes here!